NASCAR Nikita – Kurt Busch’s ex-girlfriend can end you

Sure, you have your doubts. But what if he’s right?

ICYMI, NASCAR outlaw and habitual left-turner Kurt Busch defended himself this week against a no-contact order filed by his ex-girlfriend, Patricia Driscoll, by asserting that Driscoll is an international assassin who could snap his neck like a stupid little twig (I’m paraphrasing here).

Busch claims personal knowledge of numerous hits successfully completed by his cold-as-ice ex, including missions in Africa, and Central and South America. He also recounts a trip to El Paso during which Driscoll left their hotel in camos, and returned in a blood-spattered evening gown.

For her part, Driscoll responded by calling Busch and/or his claim “ludicrous,” and said that he was conflating reality with the plot of a screenplay she’d been working on. We can’t help but pointing out that this is exactly what a covert operator might say when her cover was in danger of being blown.

Speaking of which, it’s safe to say that if Kurt Busch’s claims are in any way true, his head is at this moment centered in a very steady set of crosshairs. And let that be a lesson to us all: when and if we learn our SOs are professional murderers, we should keep that shit to ourselves.

I suppose there’s a better than average chance that Mr. Busch might be mistaken. But let us not assume this is so. There are professional assassins, aren’t there? Do we have any reason to suppose Ms. Driscoll isn’t one of them?

Look at it this way: there are probably ninjas everywhere. The only reason we keep hearing about the ones in Japan is because they’re the absolute worst.

About editor, facilitator, decider

Doesn't know much about culture, but knows when it's going to hell in a handbasket.
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2 Responses to NASCAR Nikita – Kurt Busch’s ex-girlfriend can end you

  1. Kevin says:

    Initially, I thought he put himself in danger by going public with it. But upon further review, this was his BEST move. Now if he kicks the bucket for any reason (and I mean ANY reason), it will confirm his story and effectively blow her cover. Had she offed him before he went public, she would have been just fine. No way she kills him now though.

    If I’m writing the book, this is where a RIVAL assassin comes in and dispatches Busch in spectacularly assassin-like fashion while simultaneously luring Driscoll into an alibi-eliminating trap. Check and mate.

  2. Kevin, that sounds about right. The only thing I’d add is that based on his profession, either she or her rival will CLEARLY be offing him via a set of disabled brakes.

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