By now you’ve seen the dress, and no doubt have debated the dress. You have weighed in with your opinion—an objective truth, surely, from your point of view—and have questioned the sanity of anyone seeing anything else. You’ve probably even delved into the science behind the duplexity, desperate for elucidation as to how our perceptions can be so divorced.
If so, you were given long-winded explications about chromatic biases and of the interactions of retinal nerves and neural pathways in the visual cortex. It sounds good, sure, but it’s not at all satisfying. Is it?
That’s because it’s hogwash. They’re afraid to tell you the awful truth. I am not.
If you see a dress of black and blue, all is well. You’re good. Go about your business.
If you see white and gold, that’s a signifier of something you don’t want to hear, but you need to hear. It’s up to me to bring you up to speed.
If you see white and gold, that means none of this is real. It’s all a dream. You’re in the hospital, in a coma. You have been for years.
Me and the dress have been sent in, to bring you back.
So please, please, for goodness sake—Wake up.
