In the bullseye here in the Buckeye State


The phone won’t stop
ringing. Earlier in the cycle the calls were all from familiar voices, the candidates themselves or their smooth-talking celebrity surrogates. Here in the final push days, the types of calls are changing, getting more aggressive. They’re push-polling (“Wouldn’t you agree that That Other Guy is a flesh-clad demon, out to destroy us all?”), and trying to shame me into voting right now. Always all but suggesting that eschewing my hard-fought early-voting rights, that actually voting on election day, is somehow like not voting at all. Like letting the terrorists win.

And the TV commercials! And the mailers! Wherever you are, if you’re in the US; sure, you’re on the receiving end of some electioneering media. But you’re not getting ‘em like we’re getting ‘em in Ohio. Drowning in electioneering media. Didn’t know that could happen to a person, but that’s what’s happening to me and everyone I love.

If you know anyone from Ohio, or if you yourself suffer from this affliction, then you know that all the above is what every Ohioan is kvetching about these days. We’re firmly in the crosshairs of two billion-dollar political machines, with every talking head and would-be political know-it-all declaring that we’re set to decide this presidential election.

But kvetch though we do, we’ve got a little undercurrent going on here that no one’s talking about. Most of us probably aren’t even aware of it, and quite a few will deny it to my face. But I insist it’s true: we’re enjoying this, and we’re gonna miss it when it’s over.

And why not? Our votes are more valuable than anyone else’s. Isn’t that what they’re telling us? Sure they’re drowning us in media, and that really does suck, but they’re also kissing every bit of our corn-fed Buckeye asses. And when I say “they” I’m talking about some of the most powerful men who walk the earth.

So, yeah, Iowa. My vote is worth like 2 or 3 of yours. North Carolina and Virginia, ditto. And non-swing states, the ones that’ll never shift away of their blue or red hues, their votes are practically worthless next to mine. California, Texas, I’m looking at you. The candidates adore me, and they’ve no incentive at all to even acknowledge you.

See what I mean? Deciding an election goes to your head.

But it’s almost over. In a few days, me and a few other sociopathic last-minute electioneers will go cast our million-dollar votes, and be done with it. The votes will be counted, Obama and Romney will sue the shit out of each other, the Supreme Court will do something that will make half of us want to throw up…and then it’ll be over.

And Ohio goes back to being Ohio.

Thinking on that fate, brother Buckeye, aren’t you now willing to admit you’re going to miss this suckfest once it’s gone?

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Wanna see something really scary?

On any other day, if you’re asked that question, let the lessons of the cinema be your guide, and say ‘no thanks.’

Ah, but today is Halloween, or Samhain for ye traditionalists. It is as they say the time when the veil between the worlds is at its thinnest. Or if you have no use for or belief in veils, then it’s at least a time to scare ourselves silly.

So – if you want to see something scary (and you do; trust me, you do), try celebrating your pagan Harvest of Souls with this fun selection of the scariest stuff that YouTube has to offer. Enjoy, but whatever you do, don’t watch these alone….

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4 more years

Here's a picture begging for a sequel.

The Deconstruction is now ready to make that bold plunge, and offer your forecast to Nov. 6th’s election outcomes:

It’ll be Obama by 2 points in the general election, with a sweep of Ohio, Virginia, and North Carolina, for 272 electoral votes. You read it here first.

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I culture you (whiskey 101)

What is culture? By one definition it’s a thriving petri dish. That’s a metaphor for human culture only if you’ve got the most cynical disposition toward your fellow man.

Whiskey (and whisky*)

The spirit. The fortified repast that’s better than all the rest. Melded into a cocktail, or straight up from the shot glass, this ultimate iteration of fermented barley mash is culture, or is at least cultured. And if you’re seeking culture (or seeking to deconstruct it) then you’d better deconstruct a few pints of good whiskey.

Surely you’ve some idea of your choices – with soda, with water, with ice, or with none of that. There’s no final answer. Or rather the answer can only be: drink it as you like it.

But there’s this bit advice: just a splash of water. You’ll hear the old-timers say this “releases the aroma.” Turns out they’re right about that; something chemically catalystic happens. Straight, untouched whisky has a subdued aroma in the glass. Add a tablespoon or two of distilled water, give it a swirl…and a whisky blossom unfolds for you. Experience it fully not by sipping, exactly, but tasting it slowly with a wide-open mouth. As you taste, draw the fumes both into your mouth and nose. Your whisky blossom becomes a bouquet.

* Whiskey is distilled in the U.S. and in Ireland. Whisky is made in Scotland, Canada, and a few other places. The method recommended above works well with whiskey, and excels with whisky.

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I culture you (art edition)

What is culture? By one definition it’s a thriving petri dish. That’s a metaphor for human culture only if you’ve got the most cynical disposition toward your fellow man.

Art:

Art is subjective. Emphatic period.

Feel free to enjoy the art you like, and ignore the rest. But ignore nothing without at least one deciding glance. Else how are you to zero in on what you like?

Once you find what you like, revel in it. Seek it out in museums, in galleries, and online. Buy art, by all means. If you can, buy the work of your favorite artist, and work that represents every aspect of your favorite art genre. Or buy anything that reminds you of it. Or anything that’s the opposite of it, or anything that makes you think about it, or not think about it. Trust and follow your instincts.

Support art out in the public places, and in your private spaces. There’re few sadder sights than bare walls and boring spaces. Art is a proven cure for both.

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I culture you (part 1)

What is culture? By one definition it’s a thriving petri dish. That one’s a metaphor for human culture only if you’ve got the cynical-ist disposition toward your fellow man.

I ain’t comin atcha like that. When it comes to culture I rein in my cynical-istidy, I come at it reverently, I deconstruct only because I must. It’s a must.

So here’s where I give back. Cultural instructions, deconstructed. For you. (In a continuing way, starting…now)

Chapter 1: “‘tini”

There are many multi-word drinks that end in “martini.” There is only one one-word drink that does. When I order a martini and they ask “gin?” I want to see their liquor license revoked.

And there are many ways to jazz up gin and vermouth. I say let’s try them all. But again, when I give my one-word order, here is precisely what I expect: martini, dirty, chilled. Touch of lemon. At least an olive or two; feel free to jazz up the garnish if ya got ‘em.


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Developing story – HUGE art heist in Amsterdam

At least seven major art works have been stolen from the Kunsthal Museum in the Netherlands, in an early morning heist on Tuesday. The works include paintings by Picasso, Monet, Matisse, and Gauguin. The museum, which was celebrating its 20th anniversary at the time of the theft, hasn’t released a valuation of the stolen work, but the word “priceless” comes to mind. As with most thefts of this stature, it’ll be nearly impossible to sell such famous works on the open market. If history is any indication, the paintings will either disappear into private collections, or will be held surreptiously for an indeterminate time before being recovered or quietly returned. Here’s hoping it’ll be the latter.

Stay tuned. Something tells me there’ll be more drama to follow in this developing story.

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Chinese literature in the spotlight

With this week’s announcement of the award of the Nobel Prize for Literature, the world’s cultural attention has turned to Chinese literature. China has one of the world’s most ancient traditions of written art, yet has been mostly ignored by the Nobel committee until now. The award of the 2012 literature prize to author Mo Yan has begun to rectify that.

Mo Yan, author of Red Sorghum and The Republic of Wine, was saluted by Nobel’s Swedish Academy for his “hallucinatory realism,” which has been compared to the style of Franz Kafka. The Kafka-esque comparison is enhanced by an examination of Mo Yan’s life, and even his presumably allegorical pen name (Mo Yan translates to “Don’t Speak”).

Guan Moye (the author’s real name) has been criticized for his closeness to China’s ruling communist party, yet his work has been among the most censored in China. He was born to a farming family in Shandong Province, had some early schooling, but was forced to quit at a young age and turned to hard labor during the Cultural Revolution. He later joined the People’s Liberation Army, and it was while he was still a soldier, in the early ’80s, that he began his writing career.

Chinese émigrés have won the Literature prize before (including Gao Xingjian in 2000), and even the 1938 winner, Pearl Buck, might be seen as a representative of the Chinese cultural tradition on the world stage. But as the first Chinese national to win what many consider to be the pinnacle of recognition for writers, Mo Yan has brought a new global focus to China’s modern ascendancy. His own talent and body of work, one hopes, is the true incitation for this award; still, it’s hard not to think that this award is more proof that in cultural matters (in addition to countless others), our present times might well be remembered as the Chinese century.

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Richard Dadd: Art and insanity

He was an artist recognized in his lifetime for uncommon talent, astonishing attention to detail, and a fascination with mythological subjects, which was aesthetically felicitous and appropriate for his Victorian upbringing.

Richard Dadd was also tragically insane, a confessed patricide, who was destined to spend the last two-thirds of his life in asylums. His story reminds us of the madness that all too often hobbles promising artists. It also touches on the revolutionary mid-19th century developments in the treatment of mental illness, for Richard Dadd was to be committed to the care of the first generation of physicians who recognized, and attempted to treat, diseases of the mind. This was a radical departure from even a decade or so earlier, when insanity was viewed as a moral failing, and treated with the utmost level of callousness and cruelty.

Dadd hailed from a well-to-do Kentish family. His talent for painting and composition was recognized from the time of his childhood, and he was accepted into the Royal Academy of Arts at an early age. His fabulous depictions of fairies and other popular supernatural motifs began receiving attention and renown, and he gained lucrative commissions for the illustration of fairy-tale books and magazines.

His illness seemed to first manifest itself when he was 25. That age, and the particulars of his psychoses, suggest he suffered from schizophrenia. That diagnosis didn’t exist then, of course; indeed, he was initially thought to be afflicted with sunstroke. He was in Egypt at the time, touring with a wealthy art patron, when he became violent and delusional, asserting that he was in communication with the god Osiris.

He was sent home to recuperate, but within months of his return he attacked his father, apparently under the delusion he was a demonic imposter, and killed him. He fled to France, where he also attacked a random tourist, but was subdued and arrested. He was extradited back to England, judged criminally insane, and committed indefinitely (in the legal vernacular of the time) “until the Queen’s pleasure be known.”

He was initially committed to the notorious Bethlem Royal Hospital, from which we’ve received (thanks to etymology and lazy tongues), the context-laden word, “bedlam.” Later, he was transferred to the newly created Broadmoor Asylum in Berkshire, where he was to spend the rest of his days.

Broadmoor was (and is) a most progressive facility for the treatment of mental illness. Its staff, in the mid-1800s, were naturally limited by contemporary understanding of brain pathology, yet they still endeavored to treat their charges with respect and compassion, to a degree unheard of at the time, and utterly rejected at places like Bedlam. He was permitted to paint, indeed encouraged to do so, and produced prolifically for more than 20 years. His case notes suggest he was a “tranquil” patient, whose delusions were nonetheless apparent during conversation, and were sadly to remain so until he died. He was for the majority of that time Broadmoor’s most famous patient (despite that facility also housing at least two attempted assassins of Queen Victoria), but by the 1880s he was mostly forgotten. He died in Broadmoor in 1886 of tuberculosis. He was 68.

One of the reasons Dadd’s story is available to us is the 2008 decision, by the Berkshire Record Office, to open the files of Broadmoor to researchers. A result of that decision is the remarkable 2011 book by Mark Stevens, Broadmoor Revealed – Victorian Crime and the Lunatic Asylum.

Stevens’s book is to be lauded for both its exhaustive scholarship and its fascinating readability. It tells the story of Victorian-era Broadmoor in a series of discrete yet contiguous stories–including a chapter on the life, death, and insanity of Richard Dadd. There is also a detailed examination of William Chester Minor, an American Civil-War surgeon who murdered a man in London in 1872. While in Broadmoor, Minor was to be a devoted, prolific, and widely celebrated contributor to the Oxford English Dictionary, then being compiled for its first edition.

Stevens also looks at some of the most popularly interesting episodes in Broadmoor’s history, such as all its escapes (there were a few escapees who were never to be heard from again). He also tracks the sometimes tragic stories of the “Broadmoor Babies”–children born at Broadmoor, usually to dangerously insane mothers. The fact that more than half of the women committed to Broadmoor were guilty of infanticide, meant that few of the babies were ever to spend time with their own families, and instead disappeared into the grim, Dickensian social welfare system of the time. It’s a sobering chapter.

There’s much such sobering tragedy in the story of Broadmoor, and of its residents, including Richard Dadd. It’s a tragedy that the promising career of Richard Dadd was interrupted by illness. But it’s a triumph, of sorts, that he was treated so well, and that he could spend his years in relative comfort and safety. And it’s a triumph, both of Broadmoor and of researchers like Mark Stevens, that we can today enjoy the work, and hear the tale, of Richard Dadd.

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Do NOT be the last person on Earth to see this video

This site fancies itself an altar unto culture. This site would be remiss, then, if it didn’t immediately and at once turn its entire attention toward the Korean Peninsula, and pay due homage to Park Jae-sang, better known as Psy, best known for the video that’s making the world boogie.

The 310 million people who saw this video before you can’t be wrong. If you haven’t seen Gangnam Style yet, sit down, max the volume and hit play. Trust me, this video will complete your existence.

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Horse culture

Cultures clash; they are clashing, as you can plainly see in the news. As long as they’ve bumped up against one another, they’ve clashed.

The differences—the causes of the clashes—are subject to endless debate, and rightfully so. Just as culture itself is a complex, multilayered concept, so too must be the mechanisms by which it causes conflict. So whether you believe that one given culture is reactionary and hypocritical about insults, and doesn’t understand the concept of free speech…or if you believe that another is repressive and condescending, and stirs up furor through calculated humiliation—either way there are equal chances you’re somewhat right, drastically oversimplifying or  dangerously misunderstanding of the other side. Such is the nature of cultures trying to understand each other.

It’s complex enough that I can’t and won’t try to plumb those depths here. But another debate, one that doesn’t really offer any insights into or help with solving present events but is still fascinating, is how and why cultures got so combative in the first place. Why has violence, aptitude for and frequent expression of, settled just under the thin skin of civilization?

The usual answers: population pressures, food supply, territoriality, religion. Fair enough. You don’t need to be an historian to see how those have played out.

But casting backward a bit further, a bit closer toward the dawn of civilization in its many forms, there’s a somewhat more hidden cultural trigger I’d argue has always tilted societies toward the warlike. That’s the mastery of horse.

More peoples than not — at least in population numbers, if not distinct languages, norms, religions, etc. — have domesticated the horse. Horse was hardly the first domesticated animal anywhere; goats, sheep, pigs, and dogs almost always came first. But mastering horse was definitive, and transformative. That mastery brought all the obvious changes: extended range and quicker travel. It enabled more mobile armies and the first battle tactics beyond infantry slog. It brought horsepower to agriculture.

But through all that and more, horse mastery brought much else to culture. It brought metallurgy, or at least the first organized metal-working for purposes other than ceremonial. That new agriculture called for iron plow blades, and the wagons and chariots called for banded wheels. It’s a fact that cultures that grow up with no access to horses, the Australian and American natives primarily, never independently invent the wheel – or at best they never use it for anything but toys. No-horse cultures remain effectively stone-age level, unless and until they make contact with cultures that had mastered the horse.

Does that mean they’re less warlike? Not necessarily. They’re just as subject to the other factors, population pressures and the rest, as any culture. Clearly war, genocide, and all the rest have existed throughout the histories of the people of Australia and North and South America. But without horse, it was always that infantry slog. And it was in the service of countries with human-powered agriculture, that couldn’t afford for their men to be on the march for extended periods. War existed among these cultures, no doubt, but war for them was self-limited. By the lack of horse.

The rest of the world, the great horse-cultures of the Asian, African, and European continents, catapulted out of the stone age and into a still-ongoing march of technology — first grappling with technology related to their horse-driving endeavors, then later for all the things their horsepower enabled. This inevitably includes expansion, subjugation, and slaughter.

Ages later, the descendants of the horse-masters have moved beyond horse, far beyond it. But they’re still channeling that same drive, that conquering spirit, that cultural supremacy that was once spread from horseback.

The problem lies in those pesky numbers. Most civilizations were horse-masters, and all their descendants are elbowing up against each other now. Their ancestors rode in jihads and crusades, cossack charges and Mongol charges. They feel the modern version of that same pull toward the saddle, the drive to ride beyond the horizon carrying the banners of their people. They comprise the majority of the world’s population, at a time when there are few unclaimed horizons and the wrong banner can get you shot.

The hold-outs, the no-horses, have all but disappeared. A few of those cultures, like the Plains Indians, went through an accelerated version of horse mastery, after meeting up with horseback invaders, and did indeed make the horse the center of their lives. It happened in the space of a couple hundred years, instead of thousands. But that was still just a deviation, for the ultimate fate of the stone-age cultures in a horse-influenced world, is to be absorbed and to all but disappear.

Yet every now and then you hear of those uncontacted tribes, usually way up the Amazon somewhere, that are still hunting with bows and arrows and had not a notion of white people or airplanes or a world beyond the rain forest. Or of horses.

They don’t stand a chance. The world’s too small now for anyone to remain uncontacted, unabsorbed. At best they can hold out a while, or do-gooders can try to protect them for a while…but their fate as a people is sealed.

This all rings true, I think, but it doesn’t help much, does it? Knowing the earliest reasons your culture got out its knives doesn’t much point the way to putting them away. At best I’ve offered you a little cultural introspection.

But maybe you can get something from that. Maybe it can help you delve the reasons why you and your people thump your chests and throw your elbows. You and your people, and the horse you rode in on.

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Shepard Fairey guilty of criminal contempt

At the intersection of politics and pop culture we find Shepard Fairey and his iconic 2008 painting of Barack Obama, which one art critic said was the most effective political poster since Uncle Sam’s “I Want You.”

In a sardonic twist, that painting has now led to a criminal conviction for Shepard Fairey. Although this isn’t his first brush with the law (as a former street tagger, Fairey has numerous arrests for vandalism), it is by far his most high profile, and it leaves an unremitting blemish on his most famous work.

The trouble began almost immediately after the painting was converted to poster form by the Obama campaign. The Associated Press sued after recognizing the image as a copy of  a 2006 photograph for which they owned the copyright. Fairey claimed Fair Use but nevertheless settled the case out of court. In the course of the legal battle he admitted he’d provided false testimony and destroyed evidence, which led to his conviction last Friday. He was sentenced to probation, 300 hours of community service and a $25,000 fine.

Fairey’s quirky work has required the fair-use argument before. In the late eighties he created the odd, reportedly meaningless “Andre the Giant has a Posse” image that went viral (in the analog, offline way of those days). Fairey says he was just experimenting with stencil-making, and happened to use a handy newspaper image of the outsized pro wrestler. Regardless, the image became insanely popular, particularly among skaters, and versions of it began appearing all along the East Coast. In 1994 Fairey was threatened with a copyright infringement suit by Vince McMahon’s Titan Sports, which spurred him to change the image, ever so slightly. The “Obey Giant” is now digitally ubiquitous, yet many who are familiar with it aren’t aware of Andre’s, or even Shepard Fairey’s connection with it. Nevertheless, it’s been something of a profit center for him, even spinning off a clothing line.

Fairey says he’s happy to be done with the long drawn-out legal drama surrounding the Obama poster. He’s kept himself busy throughout, working on public exhibitions, playing himself on the Simpsons, and creating artwork for Neil Young’s most recent album. It’s interesting, though, that he finds his legal wrangling over just as campaigning for the 2012 elections are heating up. Will Shepard Fairey create another emblematic political poster? Maybe. But given past controversy, he probably shouldn’t expect the Obama campaign to come calling.

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Labor 2012

Last year on this day we took a look back at the history of the labor movement in the United States. This year we’ll take a look around.

This article by Secretary of Labor Hilda Solis celebrates the history of the Labor Department, as both a champion and protector of workers and as a force for industrial modernization.

This one is a retrospective of labor’s woes throughout the post-2007 financial crisis, in terms of a jobless recovery and and a surging poverty rate. This article makes similar observations, while arguing that business found ways to foster their own recovery while keeping rehiring to a sorry minimum.

Meanwhile, this article and this one take a look at organized labor, noting declining membership numbers and sustained political assaults. Even with a relatively friendly administration in power, these are not great times for unions.

Bottom line: This labor day, the American worker class is far too close to being forgotten and forlorn. It’s impossible to overstate the injustice of this. Political parties try to lay claim to this new “We built it” meme, but it’s always been the workers who could point to every road, bridge, factory, and skyscraper, and say that and mean it.

Bonus content–a little old-timey rabble-rousing union music, and some links to check out:

U.S. Department of Labor

AFL-CIO

Working America

Industrial Workers of the World (IWW – “The Wobblies”)

History of the Labor Movement

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What the melting glacier teaches

Circumstances have brought us to an odd place, where we can simultaneously consider the horrors of an old war, one that’s a hundred years gone and that was supposed to end all wars, and also our grim present, in the form of an unfolding environmental calamity.

The mountainous northern Italian province of Trentino was part of Austria-Hungary until 1919. It formed the frontier between Austria and Italy, and was the site of almost continuous harsh fighting throughout the First World War.

That war, known as the Great War, or briefly (until it was overshadowed) the World War, is a sad yet instructive and cautionary story about how nationalism, jingoism, and inept diplomacy can lead to disaster. The Great War is receding far into history now; no known veterans of it are still alive, and few of us ever met an eyewitness (I did; I was very young but even then knew it was a great honor. I still consider it so). World War I might as well be a Napoleonic war, for all the relevance it seems to hold today.

But it shouldn’t be that way, because the sickening uniqueness of that war, how it started and how it was fought, should never be forgotten. Where our modern wars are clashes of cultures, that war was a jousting of homogeneous European aristocrats, who thought a war would be a grand way to strengthen their respective empires, and who spilled the blood of 30 million casualties for that futile, ultimately self-defeating, goal.

I won’t rehash too much history here. I recommend interested readers pursue their own study of the causes of World War I (I heartily endorse LaFore’s The Long Fuse). Suffice it thus: this is a war that started with an excuse, a street crime. It steamrolled from there, inexorably toward disaster, because the men charged with leadership couldn’t or wouldn’t muster the courage to stop it. It didn’t have to happen; it shouldn’t have happened. But it did.

Trentino, with its Ago de Nardis mountain, has been a peaceful corner of Italy since that war – it was relatively untouched even during World War II. The battles fought there between 1915 and 1918, horrid though they must have been, were relatively unimportant compared to the campaigns in France and Russia and the Middle East. They were almost forgotten. Until this summer.

The glacier covering Ago de Nardis, once permanent, has melted and has revealed a stark reminder of what the aftermath of war looks like. Over a piece of ground more than 100-meters squared, century-old artillery shells, ammo casings, and every other kind of battle detritus have emerged into sunlight, probably for the first time since shortly after the fighting in which they were used.

I don’t know what if any lessons are to be learned here. I just know that everyone should look at those pictures and ask questions. The questions that come to my mind are on vastly different subjects, but have frighteningly similar themes: Why did that war have to happen; why couldn’t it be stopped? and Why is that glacier melting? Why can’t climate change be stopped?

In 1914 failures of leadership brought on a war that threatened the future of civilization itself. Today there are ongoing, ever-unfolding failures of leadership that are threatening to do even worse. The arguments against the reality of climate change are idiotic, technophobic, and are a little like arguing against the existence of icebergs from the deck of the Titanic. Even if industrial emissions aren’t the main culprit, and even if it’s too late to mitigate the worst consequences, the price of inaction – and most importantly, of endless argument – are far too high. By contrast, if we start today, right now, leveraging all resources at our disposal to reverse what’s happening to our planet, the hoped-for outcome would be worth whatever price we pay. And even if we fail, we’ll at least know that we tried.

Maybe it’s a stretch to conflate World War I with global warming. Some will undoubtedly think it was crass and opportunistic of me to do so. All I can say is that when I see these pictures I’m not seeing an opportunity to rant about the thing that keeps me up at night. I am seeing the thing that keeps me up, and in this context it reminds me of another time when missed opportunities and narrow vision led to ruin, misery, and death.

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Football fame, the wrong way

Andre Parker, linebacker for the Kent State Golden Flashes, is internet-famous today. Pretty impressive after playing just his first game of this college football season.

But he’s probably not enjoying that fame, and more’s the pity because it’s probably going to stick with him for a long time. Late in the first half against Towson, Kent punted and the ball grazed the arm of one of Towson’s wide receivers. Thinking it was a fumble (it wasn’t), Parker picked up the ball and ran 58 yards with it…the wrong way.

Wrong-way runs are insatiable schadenfreude for football fans. One such run is even ironically enshrined in the Pro Football Hall of Fame. That’s why Andre Parker will probably never live this down. Which isn’t quite fair, because his wasn’t the only error on that play – a couple Towson players chased him down and forced him out of bounds just short of their own goal. The whole thing was moot anyway, since a muffed punt can’t be returned. The ball was dead before Parker picked it up. And to make it even more moot, Kent State won, 41-21.

Nevertheless, he ran the wrong way. He ran the wrong way. How many people have already started calling him Wrong-Way? Probably nearly as many as those who can’t get enough of this video:

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